Finding your inner strength

How do I find my inner strength as a woman?

Finding your inner strength or power as a woman has become a bit of a buzz phrase. We might assume that it’s a recent idea, but it’s actually been used in language as early as the 1800s. But what does it really mean? Inner strength can relate to your self-confidence, resilience and ability to cope in stressful situations.

Women are often juggling a career, making decisions around becoming a parent, potentially taking care of a family, while trying to carve out time for self-care and their own interests. It can feel hard to prioritise your needs as a woman. Especially in the context of gender-based discrimination, inequity and other sadly, deep seated systemic and cultural biases that still exist all across the world.

It can be hard to focus on your sense of self and building your resilience in such a messy, chaotic world. However, finding your inner strength as a woman isn’t about trying to fit in with societal standards. It’s about recognising your worth, building self-acceptance and trying to align your life with your values.

That probably sounds easier said than done! So how can we start to build and nurture inner strength?

Connect with your story

We have been shaped by our relationships, experiences, and interactions with those around us.  These experiences impact how we understand the world and ourselves. Connect with older generations, with your culture, hear your family’s stories about how they coped with adversity.  Also think about your story – the times you’ve felt strong, times when you’ve been vulnerable and what tools you’ve used to manage.

Connect with your values

Think about what really matters to you. A value is different to a goal. Goals are more measurable and specific, whereas values are more about how you want to live your life, your morals and ethics that guide you. Trying to align your everyday life with your values can give you a stronger sense of purpose and meaning.

Build self-acceptance

It can be hard not to compare ourselves to others or feel like we should fit into a “perfect” mould of what a woman should be. However, we need to learn how to accept ourselves for who we are, the perfectly imperfect versions of ourselves. That doesn’t mean we have to love everything about ourselves, it doesn’t mean that we can’t grow or learn but it is about stopping the self-criticism and holding ourselves to impossible standards. Try waking up and telling yourself something that you appreciate about yourself; talk to yourself with kindness; and treat yourself with the respect that you deserve.

Celebrate your achievements

It’s human nature to down play achievements or quickly shift onto the next thing. All achievements, however minor they might feel, deserve to be recognised and celebrated. Allow yourself to feel proud – this can build your confidence and feel motivating for the future.

Self-care

Try and prioritise your needs. It’s a lovely quality to always want to ensure that we’re caring for others, but not at the expense of ourselves. It’s the oxygen mask on a plane metaphor – you have to put on your oxygen mask first before you can help others. Take time to look after your body: by moving it in a way that you love; fuelling and nourishing your body; having time to rest and recover; and your mind by doing what you love and finding something that inspires you. That could mean saying yes to new experiences and being open to new possibilities. You’ll never know, unless you give it a go!

Set boundaries

Practice setting healthy boundaries in all areas of your life, in your career and in your relationships with others. Think about what feels acceptable for you and openly communicate this with others to establish what feels comfortable for you. Protect your time, and how much you are willing to give to others. Try and base this on your own needs, not others’ expectations.

Own your voice

Your voice matters. Know that what you have to say matters. You matter.

Express your opinions, stand up for what you believe in, advocate for yourself and for other women. Engage in conversations about gender equality, call out unacceptable behaviour and challenge societal standards. Celebrate and support other women. We’re here for each other, not to tear each other down.

Connection

Seek out connections with others that empower and inspire you. Spend time with people who lift you up, endlessly support you and are your biggest cheerleaders. Find the people who will fight your corner, who love and encourage you and who you trust. Those connections can come from different sources: it could be through shared interests, shared values or just because they’re heaps of fun and make you laugh.

Embrace your strengths

We all sometimes feel that we’re not enough or sometimes too much, and women especially can be conditioned to feel this way. However, women may have unique strengths such as emotional intelligence, introspection and empathy. It’s important to learn how to challenge or turn the volume down on that inner critical bullying voice, and recognise your strengths and build your resilience. Think about times in your life that have challenged you. How did you find your way through? Because, however hard it was, you survived, you showed resilience. Also think about what your personal strengths are. How can you build on them and hone these skills? Practice thinking about what you have, rather than what you lack. You already have everything you need within you.

You are your own power

Remember that there is strength in vulnerability. Strength isn’t about being tough all the time. It’s also about being vulnerable, gentle and kind.

As a woman, you are stronger and more capable than you realise. You don’t need to look outside yourself, your inner strength is already there. It’s time to embrace and celebrate who you are, recognise your strengths and empower yourself and other women.

You are your own power. It’s time to own it!